Random Running, Kids

    I did my second 1/2 marathon two weeks ago, time was not what I was hoping for and at mile 8 my knees started to hurt pretty bad so miles 9-13 were the worst ever I thought I may have to stop. But because of signs like, "Pain is temporary, pride is forever" I somehow managed to get through with having to stop and walk parts of it, which really messed up my time. The entire 8 miles we were running a bit faster than 2:10 but I managed to add on 8 minutes. While training I managed to injure my knee and I think it was because I added on to many miles to fast, plus worked on speed, too much for my knees. I wanted to cry so bad during the last five miles, but managed to keep together until the end. For the first time in two weeks I went for a run, felt great, cardio- I feel in the best shape ever, I have been doing circuit, strength training, and also insanity, but once I hit mile two both knees started to ache! I truly am upset about this, it in a way makes me angry. Running helps me de stress, think, and all around makes me feel better, not being able to do it puts me in a bit of a funk. Still need to see doctor, I always feel I will somehow heal myself but I think this needs more. I have been enjoying different exercises I thought these workout videos (which I feel dumb doing) were worthless and not a great workout, but dang... it is quite the opposite! These videos have you dripping sweat and crazy sore in places you never thought you could be sore. Hoping it compensates for not running.
   Another off subject...kids! I have this crazy baby fever and my Brooke only turned one! Rusty had a vasectomy after Brooke because we agreed two would be enough for us to handle. We think more about financial aspects, daycare, preschool, saving and paying for two college tuitions, weddings, ect. We think about trying to save for all of that, plus have a life of our own, a retirement, vacations ect, also lets not forget me, a decent career. I am going to be 30 may not go back to a full time job for another 2 years, so 32, I feel like I'm going to be older getting back into the workforce plus trying to stay as in touch with my two little one's lives. I look at prior blogs and my thought on HAVING to have a career and being a WORKING mom for my girls to look up to, don't get me wrong I still believe in that, but I feel I will slack somewhere. I have unrealistic views on how I will handle working full time, being there ALWAYS for my girls, being apart of a PTA, extracurricular activities, helping with homework, field trips, bake sales, all the things that come with being a parent. I want to be the that mom, the support that is always cheering and encouraging my girls. I want another baby, I think I'm addicted to being a mom lol. Or it may because I am selling all the baby stuff Brooke is growing out of, its a permanent goodbye to babies, I don't think Im ready for that. I told Rusty in various hints I want a third baby, I even say "we could have a boy" nudge nudge, wink wink! He is adamant that we are only having two and he is fixed and there is nothing we can do about it, I say It can be reversed! Although we know the success rate on that is not very good. I love out 2 girls and our family of four, I don't know what this whole baby kick thing is? I too was adamant that we are only having 2 but feel a bit different now.