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Friday, August 4, 2023

Life Update

 It's been a hot minute! Its 2023! The MacBook we had prior was from 2012 can you believe that. We only now got a new one. I mean with iPhones and iPads we were okay with an old computer we used once a year really to just do taxes on. The first thought about getting a new one was this blog I started almost over 12 years ago, mainly to serve as a journal of parenting. 


These kiddos are now 10 and 12. We conquered the first year of middle school, Brooke is done with 4th grade and will begin her last year in elementary school. Time really does go so darn fast. Sophia finished up her gymnastics season and has made it to next level Platinum. Brooke also finishing up her last tournament next weekend the she will have a little break over the summer with exception of some technical trainings. Her team will move up a division starting Fall. Both girls have kept us busy with events a little bit of travel. It's been fun, all the hustle and bustle, watching them grow to better athletes , confidence, and some struggles, they get through it. We will miss this one day. 


Sophia has a love for all things

- Kpop - Got to go to Chicago as a family to watch her favorite group Black Pink ( November 2022) Loves learning new dances and new groups

- Sugar- Yes I know all kiddos love sugar, but I worry about this one. I try to limit what is in the house but somehow she always gets her hands on something. She does not like to eat meat, so getting protein in this girl is difficult as she really is a picky eater I guess. Protein shakes is her go to, to make me happy anyways. 

- She is a really good student! She works really hard at school. She is very independent. Literally wakes her up early at 6:05 am gets herself ready. Super independent. She is great at studying for her tests and being prepared. I was super nervous about this transition but this kid has always surprised me with school. From the first day of Kindergarten when she walked in and was like peace mom, I got this. Ive been there when she's needed me, but this girl is me. She's got it. She knows what is needed, she disciplined.

- Gymnastics is her thing! As with school and determination, she loves to learn new skills and works hard to get it down. 


Brooke- 

- Loves to dance, I sometimes hate I never got her in to dance, but this girls loves to bust moves when songs hit

- Slime/puddy/ all things messy. Every christmas/birthday this girl asks for all things slime kits ect. She aways is mixing  things. She loves looking at DIY and gets creative with at home ingredients

- Make up!  I never wanted the girls to wear make up daily! However this girl loves mascara, everyday she has it on. 

- Soccer- watching/playing practicing, she likes it all. Fav player is obviously Alex Morgan, she shares her number 13

-Friends. Loves to FaceTime and talk to friends on the phone, playdates, soccer team mates

- Stuffed animals- she has  a bunch still she will not allow me to get rid of. She sleeps with them and discs when you lay on them.. like they are hurting, She's always been a very caring soul

- Comedy- This girl CRACKS me up. Great sense of humor. Makes fun of me all the time and I love it. 


 

2020

  What a year, and its effects will not be gone in 2021. Just came back from a long walk (home from work, I have a pretty bad cold and can barely talk) I saw a couple of middle schoolers just hanging out, it was lunch time so they may have very well been in their scheduled break, but right now middle and high schoolers have been hybrid, two days week they are actually in school, and the rest are virtual days. Thank goodness elementary are full time in person. When we do have AMI (alternative method if instruction) aka virtual learning, aka online learning, aka snow days (that's another topic, no more snow days like weve had in the past) Anywhoo, the learning the kids get during this is is limited. They miss out on so much instruction and education when at home. They don't do their best work. I know some parents say their kiddos are doing great, its amazing for them and that may be true. But in my opinion there is no substitute for an in classroom education. SO  many opportunities for teachers to do fun experiments, or fun ways of teaching have been lost. Not that I haven't seen creative ways with virtual, I just think in the long run what will the effects be on our kids in the end. 

  But on a positive note, we have learned a lot from covid. Companies letting their employees work from home, see how productive they can still be and may be a way for people to permanently work. Which from people around me love the idea of no longer commuting and having more time to get household chores done. Less stress I guess. We learned how much humans can adapt to change. I honestly loved slowing down. Keep in mind I'm and introvert.  But honestly the staying home didn't bother me too much.... well I guess that's looking back almost a year later lol! I did go a bit stir crazy we all did, we would get bored here and there, and playing with friends was such a should we, should we not, daily... but we eventually figured it out. But not having to work during the day, rush home to cook dinner, then to get kids to and from soccer, gymnastics or girl scouts was honestly sooooo very nice!! Family time was the best, and the hustle and bustle was gone causing less stress in our time together. So out of all things that is what I enjoyed most. I hope that the world can slow down a bit. Oh and I hope that concert, and stadiums will not allow so many people in at once so that we can enjoy the experiences, I hate going to sporting events when I'm basically sitting on a strangers lap, or their shoulder is completely touching mine. Let 2020 show us that we need PERSONAL SPACE!

  Once summer hit schools decided to have summer school and so did my job. So we went back to normal, girls went to school, I went to work. And once Fall came it was the same, do we go to school or do virtual? We have already been in school and I felt it was safe enough, they wore masks all day, they stayed in their rooms and were not allowed to mingle with other classes, which again was so hard for kiddos who had friends in other classes they could no longer have a friendship at school in a way. So that was hard on the girls. The school year is coming into 4th quarter, its crazy how much the year has flown. But so odd I have not stepped in their building once, have never met their teacher face to face, met their classmates. I hate myself for complaining about going to school functions or parties, because that is now no longer even an option for parents to be apart of. 


 This draft above this was written at that time and now it is 2023 when I am getting around to actually posting it. 2020 seemed to bring on teacher flight, lots of schools having issues with keeping their teachers. I was/am truly grateful for our educators, they have a tough job. I despise when other says it's an easy job and they have so much time off. It is a very stressful and difficult job to educate and that time off is essential and some of that time they are actually working. These humans spend most of their week with your kid trying to do their best to educate them, with the stressors of parents, administrators , state testing, workshops, all the things with not the best pay, I can see why they are leaving. Oh and not to mention SCHOOL SHOOTINGS.

  Girls are now going into 7th and 5th grade. Soph rocked the first year of middle school. That is quite the transition and I feel I worried more than she did. It is a true marker of kids learning independence. She thrived in that environment and really showed how much she has grown. She set her alarm and woke up at 6:05am had her breakfast and allowed her time to wake up an relax before getting off to school.Did not need us at all. It was great. Grades were great, met new friends, it was a great year. 


 Brooke is going into her last year of elementary! She is quick to tell you she can't wait to be a parent so she can do whatever she wants, point being she does NOT like school. She does very well in school, she loves her friends, however does not like the teaching and the kiddos in school who annoy her. So shocking because younger Brooke loved school very much. Oh well we tell her, you have a lot more of it so buckle up and enjoy it because when you become a parent/adult you do NOT get to do whatever you want. It's a trick they say, don't grow up. 



  

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Heidi Atwell










     September 2, 2020 we lost our Heidi. Almost 6 months later I want to write this post just because I feel it has to be apart of this blog somehow being she was there since the beginning. Way before our fist born. We've had Heidi for 14 great years. She was such a good dog, she was sweet and patient with the girl from birth - current ages, such an easy dog and a blessing to have had through all the years. I still miss her almost everyday. We have her paw print on our shelf and I see it daily and think of her. For about a month after her passing I would say her name Heidi on the way to work, weird , but only because I didn't want her name to not be said... It took some adjusting, it was the oddest thing to come home and not have to take her out, or to wake up and not have any immediate tasks to do for her. Its the new normal today. 

  When we moved into this house coming in on 3 years ago, I hated the stairs for Heidi, getting older she wasn't maneuvering them so well. The old house she could go a whole day without using stairs. So I hated us for moving her here. But within a month she  honestly had a new energy, she was looking good and doing so well. Looking back I feel it was maybe just her last hoorah. (insert crying break) 

  In 2019 I had asked Rusty to make an appointment at the vet because she had seemed to really deteriorate, she wasn't walking around as much, and having lots of accidents. The vet took ultrasounds, and blood work and didn't see any issues with her, they said we could do more, but she was 14, and if something was found would we really put her through any treatments. We wouldn't at that point. She seemed happy at home, just an old dog being an old dog. 

  Then in 2020 we took her to her appointment mainly because I could tell she was in pain, she wasn't happy, she was pacing a lot through the night. When Rusty came home this time he will full of pamphlets on deciding when is the right time to let go and such. The vet said its time for us to think about letting her go peacefully. I lost it, couldn't imagine a life without her. Also looking back and reading up on it. Owners usually let their dog live beyond their years because we can't think of losing them, honestly we should have let her go in 2019, dogs can handle pain and not let it show, but she wasn't living at that point. I just needed her there when I came home, because she as our Heidi. 

 We made the decision to put her down so she could be at peace. Im very open with the girls and honest about all things. They are older now and so I figured we could be honest. Breaking the news to them was almost as hard. Brooke our sensitive one of course balled, and Sophia tried to keep herself together, but eventually lost it as well. We all cried and cuddled Heidi in our front room for the afternoon before taking her to the vet. 

  I don't even want to go through what the vet was like. They made it as peaceful as they could but FUCK, sorry, about that, but it was so heartbreaking! Rusty and I petted, loved, and talked to Heidi, I was apologizing, and thanking her for being our good girl. We held her until the end. In the car I lost it, crying and yelling. Poor Rusty, I let it ALL out. Rustys tears were falling non stop, we hugged and mourned the loss of our girl. 

  We as a family had our mourning, girls being sad at night because she wasn't there. The house felt empty.  Finally we feel "normal" without her. Plans for a new dog are there, we are thinking this Fall, honestly I know its a part of life, but I just don't want to go through that again. But I also know that there are so many dogs out there that need a loving home. We miss you Heidi.  

Sophia 9









   Well Ive waited almost a year to post this but want to be able to look back at it! Due to Covid and the crazy 2020 we had just a little celebration for Sophia here at the house. Made her a rainbow cake she requested, presents, and dinner of her choice. She requested a birthday parade which is very popular these days, but since I didn't orchestrate one for sister I decide to be fair and just do the same for her. She loved virtual learning and almost loved it too much. lol She liked the lounging in her comfy clothing and doing work on her computer more than going to school. Thats just her laid back personality. Still loved all things rainbow and still doing flips and backbends wherever she goes. Gymnastics is her thing, she's good at it and practicing it is fun to her, so win win. 

  Its funny thinking back to the beginning of online learning. I was on a field trip with Sophia's class to the Missouri Conservation,  March 12, there was lots of chit chat amongst the teachers and you can feel an energy going around. I was also texting with co workers at the preschool about talks for shutting down for a bit. I actually took a video of Mrs Knowles after the field trip talking to the kiddos about taking their computers home in case of on line learning. The kids were asking so many questions that this poor teacher had no answers too. Looking back it was a pretty big moment for that was literally the last day of school for the year. We never came back after spring break. So weird. 

  This girl has such a sassy pre tween side to her, but she has the best sense of humor at the same time. She can say some of the most clever things to make you laugh, and her laugh is one I love to hear, mainly because if she is laughing it is 100% genuine. So happy 9th Birthday to my amazingly strong, smart, determined girl. Love you most and always! 

  

Brooke is 7

  May 29, 2020 Brooke had her birthday party set at Expressions in Northtown to have a fun painting party. But due to the growing caution of what is Corona Virus - Covid 19 the party had to be canceled. Family and friends had to cancel plans to celebrate her day. But we tried to make her day special and she was such a trooper understanding why we had to cancel all plans. She still had her cinnamon rolls for breakfast, got take out from Spin Pizza at her request, and we baked her a strawberry birthday cake. We played outdoors, went for a walk opened present which were all shipped to our home. It was a different birthday but still one filled with fun and love.
    She is loving 1st grade and we are all in love with her teacher Mrs. Atkeson. She is the kindest person ever who loves her job and it shows! Brooke fell in love with her, she wants to buy her gifts all the time, she always says she will miss her over the weekend and breaks. And Mrs Atkeson only has the best things to say about Brooke. We've always known Broke has an extremely sweet side, her feelings are overflowing for other people, animals, and even insects. She's a true girl scout who loves the outdoors and knows that we do not harm creatures in their natural habitat. She will scold other kids if they step on ants or spiders outside. Since Covid and e learning her and Mrs. Atkeson have been writing letters back and forth to eachother. So very sweet.
  Brooke is not in dance and that's all me. I know kiddos can be in many many different extra curricular activities but I chose not to overwhelm. She loves soccer and is real good at it, and she loves her girl scouts. And honesty GS can keep us real busy. But I've said it for awhile I need to introduce her to dance class. The girl has danced to music in her head forever and I feel shed really love it. She will put on music in our garage where our workout area is, and work up a sweat dancing in the mirror.
  She is still our very silly girl who really has the funniest things to say, the goofiest faces and the biggest actress at times. I think physical comedy is her favorite. The girl loves to laugh and I swear the best thing to hear is her crack up at something she finds hilarious! Right now her entertainment are videos of animals doing funny things. I can't stress enough the sweetness that lives insider her. She will go to the fridge and get a chocolate milk for herself, see its the last one and give it to Sophia. I mean come on! Its over the top. She always thinks of others, even  me if i ask the girls if they want to hit up a trail, go on a bike ride, ect, and if they say no, she will see I'm not the happiest with that answer and because she's a sweet person pleaser she will say yes! Of course I don't take advantage of that...unless its a demand and not a suggestions.
  But like every kiddo (and girl) she has her sassy days, as much emotion she has, she can really express it to me in such a way she is persuasive and has me guessing my parental decision. I swear both girls sometimes have the best responses to discipline I'll have to stop and say they have valid points. Im lucky she can however stick up for herself, Ive seen her get mad or mean business when another kiddo is being unkind. I like to know she isn't too sweet where she would allow others to be bully like to her. Its so hard to teach them balance, its sad I feel that kiddos need to be able to stick up for themselves at such a young age, kids are a blessing and are amazing, but some kids can also be just plain mean...so the girls and I have lots of conversations about all different kinds of people and how we need to navigate through them. So difficult to do!
  Anyways! Happy Birthday Brookie! May your heart and soul always be kind and sweet! Love you most and always. Mom




Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Disney

How did I forget to post about Disney! Back in December we took our first Disney Trip. Thank God for my MIL who is the most organized woman in getting the whole entire thing set up. She planned for all the parks and events, big thank you to her, there is so much that can go into planning a trip its a whirlwind of things to plan.
  We left on December 3 to Orlando, we were all very excited for this day, honestly I had no idea as to what to expect but I knew the girls would have a blast. We all stayed at the Shades of Green and got in late afternoon and met the rest of the family at the airport, we then had a van drive us all to the resort. After just a quick check in and drop off of luggage, oh and a change into our Disney shirts, the journey began immediately to Animal Kingdom. I honestly cannot tell you the first ride we rode, all I remember was that it started to pour down rain, thankfully I packed our rain parkas and stayed as dry as we could have, it was a great first day experiencing Florida weather. Oh now I remember the first ride was a water ride, there was literally no line (due to the rain) so we went through twice. But that first day I remember the most was the Mt Everest ride that evening. I was so nervous, the girls had never really been on a large roller coaster, and Brooke was exactly the right height to ride. It was the funnest ride of the whole trip, I could not stop laughing looking at brooke who was sitting next to me! Her face was priceless, pure look of a kid having an amazing time. Sophia was ecstatic getting off the ride, she loved it so much. Great ride. It was a very long day of travel plus all things Disney. The girls  were exhausted falling asleep on way to back to resort. Total mom fail. We were so excited and ready to start our day, we traveled in comfy clothes and Sophia wore her comfy fuzzy shoes, which had hard bottoms but was basically a slipper. I failed to change her shoes and poor girls did all her walking in them. When we got home her feet were swollen red with little blisters wanting to come up. I was so upset, I mean, day one and her feet won't be able to go on the next few! We soaked them, rubbed them and they ended up not being too bad, we did buy a $50 stroller (really a $20 sold for $50 because its Disney) Sophia didn't really use it but her sister was gladly to take advantage of it! I mean every time she got off a ride she just sat down.. that girl!
  The next morning we headed to Disney Springs so that the girls could be transformed into Princesses! Bibbidi  Bobbidi  Boutique it was the cutest thing to see. And why I fell in love with Disney was the production of EVERYTHING! The employees were always in character and entertaining, the boutique had Disney princess to the T They looked so adorable afterwards. Later that night We were headed to Magic Kingdom for Mickey's Merry Christmas. That also was the BEST! We all obviously love Christmas but to be at Disney during the season, they go over the top with it all. It was decorated from top to bottom. It was a great parade, with cookies and hot chocolate.
  Again the next morning we headed out to Epcot, rode some rides, then later off to Hollywood!Then the next day we were back to Magic Kingdom. It all has became a blur a little bit with the rides and the parks. I was happy to know that age has yet to affect my enjoyment of some of the funner rides. With the exception of one ride which was a simulator of being an astronaut. I had to try not to get sick on that one! Sophia rode next to me and i worried the whole time how she felt...but forget it...she's young and loved it!
  Needless to say it was the trip of a lifetime, one I know I won't ever forget. I can truly say that I enjoyed Disney as much as the girls. I can't wait to plan another trip back. I can see why so many people go often. I can't be more blessed with my in laws and family who helped so much in making this trip happen for my family. Forever thankful. Love love love.